SALSA DANCERS, SAUNAS AND SEDUCTION IN HEATWAVE LONDON, May 2006

It seems to me that not only is the London Underground a sauna, but so are London salsa clubs. In Cape Town, there was some air, one could dance without melting into a heap of slippery jelly, and being showered in other people's perspiration. Here, they deliberately turn the airconditioning off and don't give out tap water, or else even charge one pound for a glass of tap water. I suggested salsa dancers take ectasy and collapse on the floor, and then the clubs will have to provide water, but the salsa dancers are already in ectasy with dancing, so I guess they will all have to keep dehydrating.I read that the Greeks and Romans used to continually smother themselves with olive oil to make their bodies shine. Grease was in. I can imagine while dancing salsa what it must have been like to hang out with the Greeks and Romans, especially during bouts of wrestling. In fact, I think salsa should be renamed a form of martial art. After all, it requires quick reflexes and responses, especially when grappling with an opponent who insists on spinning you out of time. The answer is to try to pre-empt the next move and avoid any uncomfortable arm locks. Capoeria developed into a martial art, why not salsa?I stayed late at Sound Bar in Leicester Square on Tuesday the other day and watched the salsa floor turn from a night of performance to a night of predation, as men went desperately from partner to partner hoping to catch prey for the evening. I failed miserably as a prospective target as I wasn't drunk enough (actually, not at all), but I saw one Colombian hit home with a Spanish woman as they swayed inebriated around the room. I met three Iraqi salsa dancers. How does it feel being Iraqi and living in London? - I asked one of them. It's obviously not very popular right now, he said, in fact I'm Babylonian Iraqi, that's Christian, and I've been here fifteen years. His eyes shot elsewhere. - Excuse me, he said, I just have to go speak with that woman over there, an old friend of mine - and he shot off after the trajectory of his eyes to a woman with short hair and a shorter skirt, who he clearly didn't know well, but perhaps was hoping would become a new friend. Clearly, politics is not a good pick up topic, but he was a good salsa dancer.